Today...

Today I am going to go to the Great wall and Tienamen Square. Pics and story to follow!

Side note: Ok so this is really funny. My roommate went to the gym and got a personal trainer. His American name: Louis Vuitton. Haha!

Just to Clarify

This is Jake's blog. For some reason she can't start a blog in China. (Oh, those Chinese...)

So she asked me (Lisa) to post a blog for her. I am just her BM (Blog Manager, just to clarify).

So please comment on Jake's blog!!

CHINA!

17 ½ hours after we left LAX we landed in Beijing. Saturday May 23rd disappeared and I woke up in the future and 1 year older.

PLANE RIDE

I realize that my indecision spawns from mediocrity. But in the face of diversion, choices become clear. American style beef-steak or Bi-bim-bab? Easy. For breakfast, would you like omelet or spicy octopus? No contest. I didn’t come to Asia to eat American food. Maybe it’s more of the fact that I know my reasons, my purpose, if you will. We stopped in Seoul and played Korean dress-up. Awesome, very spy. And I saw someone I knew in the Korean airport!

I made some Chinese friends on the second flight who spoke English. Of course I practiced my Chinese on them. The wife even took off her swine flu mask to teach me how to say ‘it’s my birthday’ in Chinese. That was sweet of her. She risked her life for me. I also told the flight attendant in Korean that it was my birthday and she brought me a lovely bouquet of pens and a 3-D puzzle of Lightning McQueen and a birthday card. Not quite first class, but it will do. After arriving in Beijing, we waited for about an hour while John was quarantined by people who specialize in finding swine flu in westerners but speak no English. This was after the masked Asians pointed a lavender gun at our heads to take our temperature on the plane. This was before the “swine flu detective dogs” sniffed our bags. It was a beagle. Very fierce and sleuth-like.

Slowly we found the rest of our classmates. The Chinese speakers of course arrived last. Once again I found myself to be the best of the bad-Chinese speakers since all I could say was ‘I don’t speak Chinese, I don’t understand the words you are saying, do you speak English?’ Dr. Liang came. I’ve never been so happy to see her in my life.

The ride to the school was enthralling. We were very excited to see IKEA, Chinese trees and birds, which look much the same as American ones, and also a car reversing on the freeway…oh you Chinese!

BATHROOMS

I wouldn’t call it a bathroom….it’s more of a shower-room because that’s what it is. A giant shower with a toilet and a sink with no separations whatsoever. Very convenient if you want to take crap while you wash yourself. It’s quite economical. The Chinese think of everything. It’s more hygienic than my bathroom/kitchen I had in Paris.

Certainly better than what I found when I walked into the airport bathroom. Per usual, I had to go number 2 but when I went into the stall it was a hole in the ground. It was a very nice hole in the ground, like a toilet but just on the ground, a urinal I guess. I was not about to drop a deuce there though. I also did not want to offend the bathroom attendant by shirking her facilities so I pretended to go and then left.

SPEAKING CHINESE

I use my Chinese every chance I get. I wanted a water bottle at dinner so I went to the young man at the counter. Here is the translation of our dialogue:

“Can you speak the English?”

“No. No, I can’t” ( I understood his response. Very exciting)

“Oh. I cannot speak the common language of the people of China.” (Laughter-from him, not me.) “But, I would like to drink…..um…shgxoierbasfne” (well that’s what it sounded like to him. )

“Water.” He corrects me.

“Water.” (hands me water) “enoaewiubviu owienfwoeuhwe”

“I do not understand the words you are saying.”

He laughs and shows me some numbers on a calculator. Money is the same in any language.

And I had a conversation in Chinese. Thank you Pimsleur Language learning.

By the way everything is CHEAP here. Our group of 15 each ordered a meal to share with everyone. The table was basically a giant lazy-Susan. It was 238 Yuan. That’s $40 to feed 15 people.

I basically ate the spiciest thing I have ever eaten in my life last night. I think it must have had something that is also used for anesthetic or poison because I couldn’t feel my mouth for a good 10 minutes. It was peppers with a little bit of chicken…a very little bit…probably like chicken dust and that was is. The girl next to me (Carol, Taiwanese) at some and I asked her if it was spicy and she said a little bit. Anyone in their right mind would not have done as I did, but I think the lack of sleep impaired my judgment, honestly. I took a huge bite of this concoction. It was only as I was chewing that I looked at Carol and realized she was picking out all the peppers and eating only the molecules of chicken. It was too late. I should have spit it out. Again, I was too tired to think of this solution.

My classmates asked me if it was really that bad. Yea, it was. So they tried it, mind you, they picked out the peppers and spit out the chicken and they still thought that it was the spiciest thing they’d ever tried. It even sent my Chinese teacher fleeing to the bathroom. I’m not joking.
I’m thinking that I will need to amend my food motto (I’ll try anything once as long as it’s not human or poop). In the market yesterday, where they have meat displayed like produce, they had whole baby pigs. While I’m sure they are delicious, that is just sad. I would try the chicken feet though. On the way back from the market I learned to say water, the correct way and I am thirsty. I bought a big jug of water. And practiced saying this to all the Chinese that I met.

On the escalator: “Water!” They smiled and laughed at me.

In the elevator: “I am thirsty! I would like to drink some water!” And I pointed at my water.

She thought I was strange. But I tried to imagine this from their perspective and I imagine anyone who would get that excited about water would scare me too.

I am completely embracing my role as “crazy foreigner.”